


Labyrinth of Feelings

by coffee_o



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, a little kaochisa at the end, chisato centric as she figures out her thoughts proper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 18:58:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15346428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_o/pseuds/coffee_o
Summary: Chisato meets up with Kaoru again after PasuPare’s latest live.(Based on/set after Once More Luminous event)





	Labyrinth of Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if this has been done but I wanted some form of “closure” from when Chisato tried to seek advice from Kaoru (when she had to choose between pasupare's live and acting in a movie) in the event.
> 
> I tried writing this so that people who haven't read the event could hopefully understand it!

“You were right.” Chisato finds herself admitting quietly, wringing her fingers around the warm mug of latte before her.

 

That’s the first thing that Chisato says after Kaoru takes a seat opposite her, in the same way she had a few days before, in that very same coffee shop. There is no greeting on her part, though Kaoru still gives her her usual wave and the same charming smile that she bestows upon everyone she meets.

 

Chisato ignores the tinge of annoyance that came each time Kaoru gives her the service smile. She suppresses the urge to comment on it - as she usually does. That isn't why she’s here for today.

 

“Oh? It’s rare for Chisato to say something like this, so I take it that the problem of yours have been solved? For Chisato to be chasing after her own dreams- aah, how fleeting a young maiden’s dreams are!”

 

“...How did you know?”

 

A vague question that mercilessly tears through Kaoru’s words of triviality, yet Kaoru knows exactly what Chisato is asking and implying.

 

Kaoru only offers a warm smile. “Of course I do.”

 

Chisato almost sees a shadow of her _Kao-chan_ flicker before her - at the gentle way Kaoru smiles at her - reminiscent of the kindness of the Kaorufrom her childhood memories, and it almost makes the bassist pause, as a myriad of feelings start to bubble within her.

 

“You knew I’d eventually put two and two together and-” She hesitates a little, “- choose to do both.”

 

Kaoru must have recognized the conflicted expression on Chisato’s face, as she drops her usual theatrics. She patiently waits for Chisato to recollect herself.  

 

“When I asked you hypothetically which one you would choose - your band’s live or an important drama club performance - you said that you would do both.” Words continue to tumble out; it’s as if she’s trying to reach for  _something,_ as if she’s trying to reach a certain conclusion. “I called myself an idiot for even asking you that question but the truth is, I was the idiot for letting myself be constricted by two choices. I was bounded by what I thought was the safest route I could take between PasuPare’s live and acting in the movie - I wasn’t looking at my dream.” Chisato pauses again, and finally, straightening up, she looks straight into Kaoru’s piercing eyes. “I was too afraid to admit that I love PasuPare.”  

 

Not long before, Chisato’s worldview was too narrow. She had always gone for the most secure and reliable way, achieving small but solid goals along the way. Being in and performing as PasuPare wasn't a practical route to secure her future unlike being in the movie, yet it is something she loves doing. If she hadn’t met PasuPare- if she hadn’t sought Kaoru out, she would probably still be stuck to her old ways - a _boring_ and colorless human being. There are still much more she could do, much more she should and _will_ improve on, and Chisato knows that with PasuPare right next to her, she'll able to slowly recognize her dreams, and perhaps, fulfill them one day.

 

The growing smile on Kaoru’s lips speaks more than words ever could, and Chisato finally lets herself smile too. “I won’t say this again but...thank you...”

 

In the next second, Chisato knows that Kaoru would start to spout out nonsensical quotes and before the taller girl is able to say anything, Chisato’s lips twist into a knowing smirk. “...Kao-chan.” There is a certain fun in knowing the right buttons to push and in teasing Kaoru. And Chisato likes to poke at the holes in Kaoru's mask, finding herself wanting to see parts of the old Kaoru, and though she loathes to admit it, she kind of misses the old Kaoru. 

 

“Wha-” Kaoru’s personality immediately does a 180, face flushed in embarrassment. “Ch-Chii-chan- I mean, Chisato! That’s embarrassing...stop calling me that…” The charming prince immediately vanishes as a bashful girl appears in place. And just like that, the serious atmosphere disperses and Kaoru suddenly wishes that the floor of Hazawa coffee shop would swallow her whole. She's suddenly glad that none of her fangirls (or anyone she knows) are around the vicinity.

 

“As expected, I still prefer the Kao-chan from back then.” All the tease leaves Chisato as she finds herself in a rare moment of honesty, her words spoken so softly that it’s barely audible. Kaoru is cuter that way, Chisato thinks. 

 

Kaoru doesn’t seem to have heard what Chisato had said as the former groans and buries her face into her hands.

 

It’s times like this that Chisato cherishes (though she refuses to admit this to anyone, even to Kanon) - Kaoru, stripped off her persona, being _Kao-chan_ . There are times where she wonders if she’s the one who’s still stuck in the past, looking for traces of _Kao-chan_ in Kaoru although she has insisted that she’s still the same Kaoru she always was. Her _Kao-chan_ , the girl who used to rely on her, who hid behind her and easily scared, tears brimming in her eyes. There are times where she wonders if the reason why she's seeking out the Kaoru from the pastis that she wanted to be relied on, or perhaps it's because seeing the front that Kaoru pulls everyday reminds her so much of the pretenses she faces every so often in the industry. 

 

Regardless, Chisato thinks that maybe, just _maybe,_  that the Kaoru before her today isn’t that bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a little shorter than what i usually write bc i didn't want to drag it out. also @ craftegg pls supply us with more kaochisa, afterglow and lisayuki childhood friends stories thx
> 
> also, i like to think that maybe kaoru has her own serious moments as well despite the mask she puts up
> 
> constructive criticisms are always welcomed! 
> 
> feel free to hmu @polarbearsign on tumblr to talk about bandori in general! i've also recently revived my twitter @coffee_orz \o/


End file.
